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running

personal documemtary of my journey to the bliss

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this is a documentary of my journey. whether it has or doesnt have common ground with others i dont know. i have a constitution i live by. but this is not about that. its about my practice of clearing to bliss and silence

in my world there are many lifetimes of experiences. these experiences are like treasures of life. that mold us into who we are today. they are all playing out simultaneously. like a multiverse i suppose. they are neither bad nor good, better or worse, but experiences. 

these things make a uniqueness about oneself. and all need to become neutral in the body and mind to become expansive. until then they are like conflict in the body and mind. that conflict can make for mental and physical problems. the bigger problem imo is that, that conflict keeps oneself from the bliss and silence.

 

Edited by running

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discovering the experiences through time.

on one hand is in through time these experiences are playing out. on the other hand they are all playing out simultaneously. either way it is experienced makes no difference imo.

i cant remember or tap into the experiences. but in the emotional body is an access. the heart is a doorway to them. but i think in the bigger picture its better put as the emotional body. since they can come from all over the body and from every chakra.

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thinking of it all as a play

before going into discovering of the experiences. it could be utterly important for the well being of ones mental health to see things as a play. a play in which there are many actors. actors have had plenty of rehearsals. and there is a script to the story.

the reason being is when you jumped into the vastness of the story. you may be anybody, doing anything. and there is also a oneness about everything. tapping into that and you can be in the experience of anything. being able to not get caught up into judgement of what is is what keeps sanity. and the ability to roll through the various experiences. neutralizing the conflicts. 

helping to make the body, and mind healthy. and opening up through that to a vastness of endless bliss and silence.

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the stories going on

everybody has their own stories that have played out in time. they make us into who we are today as i already stated. im going to go through my journey like a documentary of my journey through time to bliss and silence.

stories to be continued.

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i spent a couple years or so spending time every day, going into like trances opening myself up to experiences of conflict that needed releasing. im going to remember what i can and share some of it here. had i done this years ago there would be more info available to me. for me its about the bliss and silence. memories for me only come back cause it needs clearing. today most of what i went through is now clear. so the memories of experiences are further away.

 

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story 1

the first story that came up took the most time to clear. living as a native american and the experience of that life and culture being swept away to material progress.

this story played out for probably half of all the clearing i went through. a great deal of it. it was heart breaking. 

i spent a couple years worshiping the mother to the point i would only sleep outside. if i wasnt working i was with and or observing nature. i lost most of my interest in material things. it was like letting go of everything i thought i was to that. i was living and breathing that experience every day.

to this day my job and most of my extra time is still with nature. i have adopted back into some of the things i used to be fond of. that being classic cars and boats. 4x4 trucks, burbs, and so on. i still dont sleep well in comfort. i prefer my big rig out on the road or back of my suburban at a campsite with nature. i can tolerate but dont feel comfortable in homes. so one day i may get a small cabin in the woods. that would work for me.

going through that experience has opened me up to a onenesss with nature. i have become very intuned with the powers of nature all around. and all of her flavors.

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story 2

being stuck between a rock and a hard place in germany during the 2nd world war. why i put democracy and small gov on like a pedestal. 

"its all fun and games tell somebody loses an eye." that was like a comforting joke i told myself as i began to live through that conflict. big gov and dictators are scary things. trying to do the right thing can bring you into a world of hurt. dieing is easy. torture is not. so i live with a disgust for dictators and big gov. i am one of the proudest citizens of the usa that she has. nothing is ever perfect. but being able to be oneself, and do as one pleases within reason is worth dieing for. cause not having that and getting tortured is a nightmare

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story 3

i was born in Louisiana. i loved credence. their music helped bring me into that experience for the clearing.

i believe it was just after boot camp i went home on leave. i remember having my army boots on and wandered my way to a psychic. i got a reading. think it was in new orleans. i dont know the importance of that. but i believe there is something there since that had come to me. i think it was because i got into spirituality, meditation and healing from psychics in this life. and the one that helped me the most i think may be the one i met in that life. i dont know?

in any case i got sent to vietnam. i think being from lousiana helped me a bit. more similiar terrain than had i been from other places in the states.

i wanted badly to survive the trip and go home and live in the woods. that was my dream. i did a lot of heroine in vietnam. it was my way back then. i fought, got high, and had prostitutes. in the back of my mind was surviving.and according to my girlfriend ate a lot of Vietnamese soup. she just ate some at a Vietnamese resturaunt and found it taste just like what i make today. to heal myself up from being out on the road(i dont know why this is green from editing. so its not intentional)

i got to experience surviving the war. i didnt survive but got shot up and killed. but i did get to experience surviving. to this day i have a chopper in my crown that rescued me. they are in my heart like solid gold. they rescued me. but having been shot to heck i died just after the feeling of being rescued. so they were my trip to experiencing surviving and going home to the spirit world.

i have an attachment to the late 60's and 70's. when i was a kid many 70's shows were on tv and the music to. they made me feel sad. now i know why. i missed it all. today that has become more clear. less emotional. but i am still attached to those times still. but its ok.
in this life i dont do heroine. i have my spiritual practice. i do bliss
 
Edited by running

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the journey through the obstructions was often brought upon by music. i would get a hunch to put a certain song on. or one would just come on. and then i would go on a journey through the emotions and memories. this was the pivotal one. this one literally blew my heart wide open. just recently i looked up the lyrics. and found it interesting. 

"Master Of Puppets"
 

End of passion play, crumbling away
I’m your source of self-destruction
Veins that pump with fear, sucking darkest clear
Leading on your death’s construction
Taste me you will see
More is all you need
You’re dedicated to
How I’m killing you

Come crawling faster
Obey your master
Your life burns faster
Obey your master
Master

Master of puppets I’m pulling your strings
Twisting your mind and smashing your dreams
Blinded by me, you can’t see a thing
Just call my name, ‘cause I’ll hear you scream
Master
Master
Just call my name, ‘cause I’ll hear you scream
Master
Master

Needlework the way, never you betray
Life of death becoming clearer
Pain monopoly, ritual misery
Chop your breakfast on a mirror
Taste me you will see
More is all you need
You’re dedicated to
How I’m killing you

Come crawling faster
Obey your master
Your life burns faster
Obey your master
Master

Master of puppets I’m pulling your strings
Twisting your mind and smashing your dreams
Blinded by me, you can’t see a thing
Just call my name, ‘cause I’ll hear you scream
Master
Master
Just call my name, ‘cause I’ll hear you scream
Master
Master

Master, master
Where’s the dreams that I’ve been after?
Master, master
You promised only lies
Laughter, laughter
All I hear or see is laughter
Laughter, laughter
Laughing at my cries

Fix me

Hell is worth all that, natural habitat
Just a rhyme without a reason
Never-ending maze, drift on numbered days
Now your life is out of season
I will occupy
I will help you die
I will run through you
Now I rule you too

Come crawling faster
Obey your master
Your life burns faster
Obey your master
Master

Master of puppets I’m pulling your strings
Twisting your mind and smashing your dreams
Blinded by me, you can’t see a thing
Just call my name, ‘cause I’ll hear you scream
Master
Master
Just call my name, ‘cause I’ll hear you scream
Master
Master

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i feel pretty good about doing this thread. looking back and putting into words the best i can. doing so brought me into a more accelerated growth. to some degree. what i mean is im feeling that. and my devotion is back up some. im so excited about spending as much time as i can with nature and following the energy. 

its like i went full speed ahead and when i got to what i wanted i brought it back down. still growing but in a mediocre way. not really excited like i was before.

i really feel im doing all i can while im on the road. but while i have been off i havent. i do my meditation. i do my exercise. and such. but im havent been feeling my way to where i should be at. specificly where i should sleep. from now on im camping in power areas as much as possible.

last night i found a place to park my burb for the night that felt like a good spot. when i slept i was so overwhelmed in such a pleasant joy and the capacity of my container was much more expansive. 

tonight im parked near the beach. forked up the cash for the campsite. which i dont like doing. for one i think the price is a joke for a parking spot. second and more importantly campsites are not as powerful typically. they got people all around. places more hidden away and secluded is better energy for growth. like i would meditate better at an ashram than the dmv right. lol

Edited by running

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