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earthlove

Spark of Life

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Ive really been struggling with my health lately and my spirit journey is full on ,my hubby projects when I start to improve or Im not aware Ive triggered his stuff ,even though i might be loving ,i could be in fact needy or controlling and he just cains me , He has trouble with me being Happy and or Joyous and attempts to destroy in by saying weird stuff ,ive had twenty years of it so I should be used to it but Im not and in the big picture i see it just as a way of spirit trying to get us to self actuallze and not self control each other, but it still hard ,anyways im trying to take some magnesium powder ,as well but im having some mega depression,maybe its that ,usually i can snap myself up ,but  today on the bed it was intense ,then Ijust somehow found the will power in me to get up i said you are better and smarter than this ,i had to literally forceably raise my forehead and force myself up ,i went in my kitchen and got a drink of water, and as i was doing it suspended briefly in the back yard was this round like spark of red yellow and orange about the size of a soccer ball ,it was beautiful and i just knew it was a confirmation of spirit of my effort....

Edited by earthlove

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Just got back from the shops thats the closest ive been to ringing emergency,couldnt breath or connect ,I really dont know how much more of all this I can take , when i got back and lied down ,I could see my whole chest was like a gaping hole,,,,this stuff in full on ,,,,coming from my heart chakra .....Help

 

THeory 1 its the magnesium ,flogging me

Theory 2 its the stress of not knowing whether to continue with my course in counselling ,cause its making me so left brain ,yet i want to do it so i can advance myself and be helpful.

Theory 3 After just a letter contact with Tom and connecting with self I felt spirit as a bubbling light move up into my heart and Ive had a major heart awakening.Ive been moving it there bit by bit mys

Edited by earthlove

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The big open chest actually felt quite good ,didnt look to great, it was the two attacks in the shopping center that were really concerning, i felt kinda calm and mindful this arvo though but still depressed, if i try to say my usual affirmations its like im forcing my mind into something and it dosent like it ,so im just sort of letting it be empty, the only thing that saved me was repeating Jesus Christ,,,How can counselling work for people when there really trying to be spirit ,yet it seems to be important to my spirit to do it,,,,mind and heart combined maybe

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13 hours ago, earthlove said:

Thankyou Tom :) Im just very sensitive to everything at this time, see you soon ,Love and Light Vanessa

Thats great to hear Tom was able to help you!

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On 2/12/2016 at 7:11 PM, earthlove said:

Ive really been struggling with my health lately and my spirit journey is full on ,my hubby projects when I start to improve or Im not aware Ive triggered his stuff ,even though i might be loving ,i could be in fact needy or controlling and he just cains me , He has trouble with me being Happy and or Joyous and attempts to destroy in by saying weird stuff ,ive had twenty years of it so I should be used to it but Im not and in the big picture i see it just as a way of spirit trying to get us to self actuallze and not self control each other, but it still hard ,anyways im trying to take some magnesium powder ,as well but im having some mega depression,maybe its that ,usually i can snap myself up ,but  today on the bed it was intense ,then Ijust somehow found the will power in me to get up i said you are better and smarter than this ,i had to literally forceably raise my forehead and force myself up ,i went in my kitchen and got a drink of water, and as i was doing it suspended briefly in the back yard was this round like spark of red yellow and orange about the size of a soccer ball ,it was beautiful and i just knew it was a confirmation of spirit of my effort....

I know what its like to be around a lot of negativity. Perhaps not to the degree of what you experience. It can certainly be tough at times no doubt.

Was that an orb i hear people talking about you saw?

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Thanks for the support running :)Things are improving ,Yes I thought to call it an Orb whatever it was it was dimensional and beautiful ,Ive decided to drop the study ,its just too heady for me ,I'm feeling a lot more open to just being Ok with myself and everything , Hubby and I have come along way and he is a beautiful spirit ,weve both put up with a lot of far out stuff from each other ,but we are soulmates ,and Love each other....its a journey and childhood and ego stuff can take a while, though its not pleasant at times is true I think weve made it so far cause a love...:D

Oh Yeah No more magnesium for this little duck, even though I think its been good in one way the reactions were too full on...

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