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Open book 

 

May I share here my considerings, cultivation, documents / scriptures and comments, silence? 

 

I notice that I open up more and more, that it is a grow in my life, from silence to unconsciously speaking - to conscious speaking - to silence and smile. 

 

Is it alright in this way, with this title, and tags... 

or should I open it on a different forum?

 

Love to here comments, or advice, adjustments or whatever... 

 

Jolanda

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Open book

 

Thank you!

 

Did write a lot about my life, but I clicked by accident on the cross...  :(  :)

 

Reading first lessons I notice double agenda: wanting to learn, and looking for points to disagree  :o

Such a smart mind!

 

Now, shall I start all over, or shall I just write what is coming to my mind? I guess that is all I can do  :D.

Maybe starting with a little story of my life.

 

 

 

In People's Acadamy for Nature Medicine we had to make a scription about a tree.

In the scription we could write everything what we found on this tree, poems, stories, where it was used for, in society, or for health, etc, etc... and we had to make sort of contact with it.

We had to pick a tree from a list, and I picked as last person the juniper, I did not even know what a juniper was... 

I read on internet it was a bush, or a tree, it had sometimes leaves, sometimes needles. :mellow:

At last the teacher showed me one, it was a cultivation.

 

I stood before it, did not dare touching it... 

I made pictures of it, from right side, from left, from under, and with leaves on it from other trees, with snow on it, with the sunshine on it... 

And one day in the picture it looked like there was a hand coming out of the tree... 

 

In the lessons the teacher told: when we say, 'it is as if' or 'it looked like' we could skip that phrase... 

So... there was a hand coming out of the tree... 

 

I went to the teacher, showed the picture, and he said: oh, it is as if there is a hand coming out of the tree... 

 

I went to the tree, and slowly I reticent grabbed a branch  :unsure:, still it was outside of me, but it was me, wanting to open up.. 

still this mind on the background, to argue, to deny, with a double agenda... wanting to learn, looking for points to disagree

then I went to sit under it, the sun was shining through the branches, and I was touched by this sort of embracing warmth.

 

 

 

I was always an observer, but the mind rules all the time, it is making the split between inner and outer, this double agenda.

Looking for Oneness, Not Two, including this mind...

 

 

So far for now!

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It is real great to have this place to speak, and to be quiet  :) !

 

 

 

Reading somewhat on the forum Gospel of Thomas

 

 

1) And He said, "Whoever finds the interpretation of these sayings will not experience death."

2) Jesus said, "Let him who seeks continue seeking until he finds. When he finds, he will become troubled. When he becomes troubled, he will be astonished, and he will rule over the All."

 

 

 

 

 

In this School for Nature Medicin, we learned there are three worlds:

 

 
Light or Oneness, or Father, God, Heaven, Oneness, Spirit
 
Love, or Son, Jesus or Sophia, (human) being or essence or energy
 
Darkness, or Mother/Matter, Mary, Earth, multiplicity or di-vision, body

 

 

The theory:

Heaven is above, Earth below, and Love in the center.

We go up this circle from Matter, suffering of cause and effect, learning our lessons, restoring our chakra's, till we arive above, where there is a swinging door. This swinging door is connected to the heart in the center.

 

We have to go through the heart to step out of the swinging door into the light, this wholeness.

And we can take it with us, coming back on earth.

 

 

The first day I arived in this school with my 'schoolbag' I had the idea I was going to study, figuring there would be school banks.

But we sat in a circle, and there were flowers in the center (later on there was even a candle burning!...)

Twenty women and one man, with all having different religions or believes, even there were two nuns.

 

And the teacher put on some music, telling us to keep our feet flat on the floor, our hands on our stommach, and our eyes closed. 

 

This was the procedure every 'school'day.

Never mentioning the word meditation.

After the music there was the 'short' section-round: Who are you, and why?

Terrible!

After some weeks there was a big struggle going on in me.

I thought it to be a practical year, but I cried a lot.

 

One day the teacher taught us to do the 'Hands On Stommach Exercise'. HOSE (translation of Dutch HOBO).

With our hands on our stommach, dumbs crossed on our navel, we had to bring our attention to the hands, feeling the hands on the outside then the inside, and the warmth, and dark inner side. 

(thoughts about this darkness which is no darkness)

 

Another day I was crying, he asked me to do the HOSE, and when I had my attention with my hands, he asked me what I felt, and then I answered sniffing something like 'self-pity' crying even harder... 

'No no, he said, that word is not allowed in here, (  :huh:  - shocked, thoughts, thoughts)

He said: 'Go back to your hands!'

 

It took some time, to put my attention on my hands.

He said: feel your hands!

 

And graddually I became quiet.

He said: deeper!

 

And 'it was as if' I felt in a deep dark space, warmth and embracing, maybe I even lost myself.

He asked: what do you feel?

 

And I had to return to say peace from the bottom of my heart.

 

 

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Thank you Running!

I hope too reading from you!

As it arises... 

 

 

Today I left the priesthood.

Will explain later.

Need to give it a place... 

 

 

An example of the music: Leonard Cohen, there is a Crack in Everything.

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Well, I have to confess did not leave the priesthood afterall  :) .

 

In the school for nature medicin we learned some facts about Tai Chi, the symbol and Yin and Yang, as opposites, and Tao was mentioned.

I joined Tai Chi lessons, but again did not grasp any chi.

I searched on internet, and came across teachings to teach Tai Chi Tao.

Tao was mentioned, but it was not for me, did the exercises and got my diploma.

I searched the internet for Qigong with certificate, but it was to expensive, and I did the course without certificate.

I searched the internet for other Qigong training and I came across the ADGL.

 

Not having much money I became a general member, surprised to receive all the material which belong to the priesttraining.

It was about meditation, scriptures and recitation, books to read, etc.

 

I could do with it whatever I wanted.

 

I wished to learn meditation so I got the guidance of a mentor, a woman who was in the training for priest.

I would only have to meditate for five minutes a day... 

I could ask and tell anything I stumbled on or about what I experienced.

And when I could not meditate there was no punishment, just a new day to do five minutes of meditation.

 

Knowing what to expect of the priesttraining, and wishing some support in meditation, I wondered if I should do the training, when not wanting to become a priest, sort of knowing I already was, not wanting to travel so far for ordination, not having the money for it either, and some mental judgements being raised in Christianity, having parents who did not wish to live with someone from another believe... 

 

The answer was, go as far as you want to, so I started the training.

 

There were 64 A4 full with assignments, rules, vows, and scriptures for recitation, also just five minutes a day... 

five minutes of meditation a day, and reading one or two books a year, and sending some small report about the reading and the cultivation, and answering some questions every quarter of a year.

That was all.

But the struggle inside started already with the assignments and vows.

 

There are so many judgements inside us.

This is what it is all about.

 

A few months before the ordination I told my Zenteacher that I could be ordinated, but did not want to because of the travel, having to travel alone, not having money, and having to tell my parents.

He said:

Why shouldn't you travel alone? I see you as a person who can travel alone!

 

And what are the costs?

 

I cannot tell you what to do in case of your parents.

 

 

I thought about it, yes I could travel alone.

I searched on the internet, and wrote to him in an email, that the ticket was to expensive for me, telling the costs.

 

and thinking about telling my parents that I am in Daoism... I struggled and struggled... they had told me, that Taoism was wrong in their eyes, and that there was the possibility that I have to leave (living in a part of their house).

 

And I told.

They were shocked, but they didn't tell me to leave.

They even read a book about Tao and Christianity, still rejecting, but that is ok.

 

Then there was the excitement, what will I encounter there, is it truly what I want?

I figured that I could quit every minute, whenever I would feel that it was not right.

 

So I went, and it was a flight of 11 hours, a six day retreat, and a flight back home.

It felt good, besides some judgements here and there.

I was ordained.

 

 

This week there were new Rules and they felt so contradictory for me, and I sent the email that I had to leave now.

The answer was that I was free to go, but may consider to stay...

It is true, in or out, the judgements are there all the time.

There is always an in and an out.

Being in here, I am out there.

Being in there, I am out here.

The great exercise is to feel there is no in or out.

 

So I stay till the next time I feel I have to get out  :) .

 

For now, just mentioning once here:

 

Priest Wú Wù, 

ordained by Shifu Lichangdao, ADGL, 17 may 2013

My greatest teaching is the Scripture of Not Two, I will share it here later.

 

 

Thanks that I could share this here, 

considering my judgements, feeling support here.

It is all part of cultivation.

 

Energy, believing and feeling, is still a part for development.. 

 

 

 

Have to study now for my Tai Chi exam (saturday)!

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Yes, there is very, very much cross over between Daoism and Christianity.

Dao is God.

Although there are Daoist and Christians who will deny this.

 

Ofcourse I have thought about it a lot, and maybe do not have the right words to explain, my words are not for judging... 

but for finding oneness.

 

Dao is unnameble, unmeasurable, and God is Great, All, one should not make an image of God.

Maybe Daoism is more metaphysical, more spiritual.

Energy flowing through everything.

We are energy.

God made man after his image ... 

 

When the mind is still all is one.

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Thank you for telling me this!

I think so too.  :)

 

Passed my Tai Chi Tao Qi Hai A and B exam today!  Yeah!! 

Remembered the energy!

 

Going away for the weekend, thank you all, so far!

Coming soon!

Congratulations on your exam!

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 Quote Liz:

Just wanted to tell you I'm really enjoying this thread.  Thanks for sharing.   :)

 

Thank you Liz! Great reading sharings from you!

 

Thank you Running and Tom.

 

 

I thought I would have more ease, but situations arise.

How to deal with them.

 

Having a cat that always was free.

She came to me, having but one eye to see, walking through life, fighting when necessary.

 

wow, it looks like a poem.

 

 

But my parents and friends are part of the proces as well.

They think the cat needs to go to a doctor.

It means she will be operated or maybe brought to sleep...

 

In what way can we live in harmony with nature...

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My cat (Poes) is brought to sleep, very gentle.

We want to bury her on a spot in the garden, where she rested a lot last days.

 

Nature is not only nature we know as woods, and mountains.

Nature is also situations, surroundings, it is in buildings, it is in people, it is in thinking and emotions, it is in living and in dying.

Nature is everything.

Living in harmony with nature happens.

By observing there is ease, even when there is no ease.

If it is not alright, it is alright too, it is nature.

But we can feel the power, the energy, in believing there is more than just this.

There are things we cannot believe, and this is seen in the infinity of the universe.

We cannot understand infinity as humans. 

Going to a stargazing, a very young professor told that it 'believed' that there are more universes.

So figure it out, what is in between or thereafter?

Where does that end?

And where it ends, is there a big signboard : The End ?

 

Things happen while walking the way.

Sometimes things are fine, sometimes they are not.

The struggle is just in our mind, mostly about things that are not happening yet.

We want to figure it all out, want to know what to do in advance.

And when time is there, it will turn out different.

But it is all ok, struggle too.

It is part of life.

 

So the vetinar said: do you wish to leave her here?

I said ok.

 

When home I was called by the woman who helped me get Poes in a cage.

Do you wish to burry her?

Oh, yes!

So I took Poes back...

and it does not 'matter', she is with me in me.

 

:)

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Here attached the text of Not Two, 

 

Sima Chengzhen 

 

born 647—died 735,  sixth patriarch of the Shangqing School of Daoism and also mentioned somewhere as third patriarch of Chanbuddhism.

There is the vision that is been transmitted by recitation of the scripture.

He is especially famous for blending Daoist, Confucian, and Buddhist methods of mental cultivation.

Generally he recommended religious methods that emphasized “inner alchemy” (neiyan) over the external practices and drugs of “outer alchemy” (waiyan).

 

In here the vision of Not Two, that will be transmitted by ongoing recitation of the Not Two.doc scripture.

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Thank you for this thread, Jolanda!

Curiously, I opened this thread just moments after posting in another forum about interacting with trees so your post about the juniper was particularly resonant for me today. Synchronicities increase as my frequency rises.

_/\_

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Here attached the text of Not Two, 

 

Sima Chengzhen 

 

born 647—died 735,  sixth patriarch of the Shangqing School of Daoism and also mentioned somewhere as third patriarch of Chanbuddhism.

There is the vision that is been transmitted by recitation of the scripture.

He is especially famous for blending Daoist, Confucian, and Buddhist methods of mental cultivation.

Generally he recommended religious methods that emphasized “inner alchemy” (neiyan) over the external practices and drugs of “outer alchemy” (waiyan).

 

In here the vision of Not Two, that will be transmitted by ongoing recitation of the attachicon.gifNot Two.doc scripture.

Awesome text. Thank you. :)

Does he have other such works?

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Here attached the text of Not Two, 

 

Sima Chengzhen 

 

born 647—died 735,  sixth patriarch of the Shangqing School of Daoism and also mentioned somewhere as third patriarch of Chanbuddhism.

There is the vision that is been transmitted by recitation of the scripture.

He is especially famous for blending Daoist, Confucian, and Buddhist methods of mental cultivation.

Generally he recommended religious methods that emphasized “inner alchemy” (neiyan) over the external practices and drugs of “outer alchemy” (waiyan).

 

In here the vision of Not Two, that will be transmitted by ongoing recitation of the attachicon.gifNot Two.doc scripture.

Thank you, Jolanda!

These verses, in particular, keep ringing for me right now:

"To return to the root is to find the meaning, but to pursue appearances is to miss the source."

and

"To seek Mind with the discriminating mind is the greatest of all mistakes."

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You are Welcome! 

 

Brian, where did you tell about the interaction with trees? I cannot find it.

 

 

Jeff, there is indeed another work of him, it is about meditation, having seven steps. 

It is about this Nei Jing/Gong, inner alchemy.

So I will add it too here, when time is right, or when someone really wants to read it now already...  ;)

 

Brian, I love to contemplate on the lines, they are guidelines in duality.

And indeed some lines will ring, some will trigger.

Keep these in mind! 

Transmission will follow.

 

 

First lines:

 

 

The Great Way is not difficult for those who have no preferences.

When love and hate are both absent everything becomes clear and undisguised.

(this is a difficult one)

Make the smallest distinction, however, and heaven and earth are set infinitely apart.

 

(exercise:)
If you wish to see the truth then hold no opinions for or against anything.

(not even about being against anything, just smile)

To set up what you like against what you dislike is the disease of the mind.

(so, naturally)

 

When the deep meaning of things is not understood the mind's essential peace is disturbed to no avail.

(Some disturbance will arise by reading these lines, but will fade after transmission)

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You are Welcome! 

 

Brian, where did you tell about the interaction with trees? I cannot find it.

 <snip>

Forgive me, Jolanda -- the mention was in another forum (not the Living Unbound Community) in a thread in which a member was asking for guidance on interacting with trees. I posted in that thread on another forum (The Tao Bums, specifically) and the very next thing I read was your thread here. You talking about trees really jumped out at me.

Thank you for this. The timing of your influence is quite remarkable.

Edited by Brian
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